You and your husband have separated, and you are going through such a tough time emotionally. I can really understand how this feels; breakups are one of the most difficult life changes to have to deal with, right up there with moving and death.
When you want to know "how to get my husband back after a separation," you first need to understand why the breakup happened.
1. He left because he did not feel admired.
Want men want most from their wives is to feel like they are admired, like they can do anything. With their wife's admiration, a man feels tough, strong, and confident.
When you first started dating, things were different; you were probably trying to impress him.
Am I right? :)
So you wore fancier clothes, put more time into "looking your best" for him... things like that.
And then as time went on, you stopped doing that so much. (Which is totally natural. We all fall into patterns with people and forget about trying to impress our partner.)
Now, your man probably took this to mean you didn't care so much anymore; he stopped feeling admired.
Learn more about getting him back after a separation.
Learn more about getting him back after a separation.
Now that you understand more about why he left, you can work on the next point, which is...
2. You need this time to heal.
While you're separated, you should be focusing on yourself. Treat yourself well. Take time away from the kids for a bit if you can. (Have a relative watch them, or a friend, and just make some quiet time for yourself.)
Really focus on allowing yourself to work through the negative emotions from the breakup. If you need to work with a professional - say, a LCSW, then that's a great idea.
Or if you feel like you'd rather just quietly work through things on your own, you can:
1. Feed yourself a healthy diet; get some physical activity each day. This will help improve your mood and your sense of well-being.
2. Call a friend and hang out for a bit. A girl's night out can be a great way to re-boost your confidence and self-esteem, and remind you of your own attractiveness.
3. Realize it's not the end of the world if your husband doesn't come back. You want things to work out, but no matter what happens, you are a worthy and capable human being. Even if you don't get him back, you'll still be able to make it through - and eventually attract someone new if you wish.
3. Make a plan to get him back.
When it's time to reunite with your husband after a separation, the best way to do this is to write him a letter. You want him to know that:
a) you're okay with the breakup.
b) you're happy and stable.
This way you're painting a picture in his mind of you as a "new woman"; you will capture his interest by including these two things in your letter.
